Monthly Archives: July 2015

Does time heal the loss of a Baby?

What is Time?

The definition of time per the dictionary is,

the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole

.

What does this mean?

Time doesn’t stand still and continues indefinitely.

However, how does this explain the following words that as a parent of an angel baby I always hear.

The most common one is ‘Time is a healer’ or ‘Things will get better, just got to give it time’

How does Time heal?

Mostly people who say this to us has not experienced what we have and are unsure what to say. But i always want to reply, ‘please could you tell me how?’

Are we expected just to move on with our lives and forget that my Wife ever carried our son for 8 months and that the tragic events never happened.

We are heartbroken for loss of our son, who we love eternally and will never ever forget!!!

Time doesn’t bring him back, time doesn’t allow us to hold him one last time.

How long does it Take?

Our hearts have been shattered into millions of tiny pieces and we feel completely empty inside. How long does it take to rebuild these tiny pieces and fill the empty void.

How long are you expected to ‘get over it’ by society. Within weeks after losing our Son, my work was contacting me to see if was returning soon. Did they expect me to be ‘over it’ by then and should be getting back to normal

?

Personally, I think I that we will never get back to normal again and don’t want too. As getting back to normal means forgetting Rory and pretending everything is the same as before.

Moving Forward

After discussing our experience with other parents, who have suffered a loss, has explained to us that you never get over it, you just learn to live with it. They’ve learned to carry on with lives, their child is always with them and always part of their lives.

Even though it feels like our world has stood still, time doesn’t stand still and life does go on, whether we like it or not.

Rory will always be a massive part of lives, he will always be in our hearts and I know he is our little angel, who will be watching over us. My Wife and I have vowed to carry on with our lives, keep slowly rebuilding the tiny pieces and most importantly make Rory proud of us.

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The Silent Heartbeat

6 weeks ago today (Tuesday 26th May) was the last time my wife heard our Son’s heartbeat at the 36 week midwife appointment. 6 weeks ago today we were so happy, life was good, we was expecting our first child and couldn’t wait to meet our bundle of joy.

We had everything ready for our new arrival, on the bank holiday Monday I had completed the finishing touches to the nursery. All the essentials had been purchased and the hospital bags were packed.

However, 48hrs later we found out the devastating news that our baby had passed away. How can your life change so dramatically in a matter of hours?

Sadly I didn’t go with my wife during her midwife appointment, due to work, and wished I had. I would have heard his heartbeat for last time on the last day that we knew he was alive.

I can’t remember the last time I actually heard his heart beating. Instead my last memory of a midwife applying a doppler to my wife’s tummy was when his heart was silent.

I wish we could go back to that day 6 weeks ago and bottle our happiness, because that emotion feels a very long way away.

I also wish that our son didn’t have that knot in his cord, causing to silence his heartbeat and end his life before it started.